Bad Vibes Only - Nora McInerny

Last year I started getting into essays. Usually I listen to the essays on audiobook as I'm going to sleep as a way to stop myself from thinking too much. I found some really great ones, and when I heard about Bad Vibes Only, I thought it might be a fun book for Cover to Cocktails. I had planned on it being earlier in the year, but it took forever to get it from my library! Finally, it arrived in time for our May book.

Each chapter is one essay and the essays cover a wide range of topics, from motherhood and parenting, to society's obsession with how we look and age, to privacy in the age of social media. I enjoyed how each essay was readable in about 15 minutes, which made it great for my commute! I did neglect to tell Jen that this was a book of essays so she was a bit confused on why there wasn't really a story! It all made sense to her once she realized it was a book of essays.

Most of the essays were enjoyable. A few of my favourites were:

• Chapter 12 - Competitive Parenting Association - this essay talks about how once you have kids you're in a competition with other parents whether you like it or not. It then goes on to describe each type of parenting competition. Jen asked me which group I belonged to and I'm more of a don't really want to compete mom, though I must admit to being prouder than necessary when both my kids could speak full sentences before others said more than a few words, so the competitive streak is there! My favourite quote of the whole book came in this chapter when talking about what to buy when you're expecting, "You'll need a new car, because how can a baby fit into a sedan designed to hold five adults?? It can't, so you'll need a massive SUV."

• Chapter 8 - Strongest Girl in the World - this essay talks a bit about Nora's childhood growing up in the 80's and 90's like Jen and me. We could both relate to her stories of being sent outside to play and then seemingly forgotten about all day. She tells a story of being at the family cabin and deciding to row into town with her younger cousin (they were 9 and 10 years old). The girls were gone all day and rowed past many other families, with no one stopping to ask them what they were doing or if they were okay. When they made it back, they expected to be in a lot of trouble, but no one had noticed they were gone! This very clearly shows the different parenting styles from when we were kids to now. I let my kids do a lot of things on their own, but they are always to tell me where they are going and when they will be back. But it the pandemic hadn't happened, I likely would have held on tighter. During covid I was happy to send them to the park on their own so I could get some work done! And now I'm happy they have some freedom and so are they.

• Chapter 10 - Stay-At-Home Mom - this essay talks about Nora's love for being a homebody. Even when she is on book tours she has no desire to leave the hotel and tour the city. Her husband tries to encourage her to change, but she's a creature of habit and really doesn't want to do things. I related to this one as well because I have described myself as an indoor cat. I like to stay home and read or bake or watch bad tv. I don't really care if we travel, even though I do like to see new places and experience new things. I have trouble doing things all alone and not feeling awkward so if I was in a city by myself, I would very likely just stay in the hotel room most of the time too.

There was one essay that bothered me a lot. And when Jen and I chatted, she had the same feelings. Chapter 16, called Anything Can Happen, is about a scary situation where her son was left in the car for hours without anyone noticing. This is terrifying to think of as a parent. Everything turned out okay in this situation, but the reaction of her husband is something I still think about. I'll set the scene a bit. They have a blended family and also had friends visiting, so it was a bit chaotic. She drove with her friend and three of the kids, her husband drove with the other husband and the rest of the kids. When they got to the house everyone got out, unloaded the car, and went into the house and then outside for a bbq. A few hours later while showing her friend some of the garden, they found her son in the car, still buckled into his carseat. He was okay. But her husband blamed her! And of course she blamed herself, like any mom would do. But her husband didn't take any responsibility, he blamed her! He didn't notice the kid was missing either, but it's all her fault. This essay made me so mad!

Jen and I both enjoyed this book, though we both felt there were some parts of it we couldn't relate to. Neither of us are active social media users....shocker right? We have this fabulous blog and facebook and instagram pages and we're not active users! I enjoyed most of her parenting essays though and would likely look for her other books or her podcast.

We hope you give this one a try! Until next time, have a drink, read a book, and be happy (or not, bad vibes are fine too)!